You don’t have to be an expert to know that friendship is the heart of love.
A good friend accepts you as you are. More than that, they adore who you are! A good friend wants you to be genuinely happy, regardless of how it may affect your relationship. A good friend sees you at your best, worst, and everywhere in between, and still thinks you are the bee’s knees. A good friend is honest when you need them to be and supportive when you don’t. They know what questions to ask and which ones to avoid. A good friend cares when you’re up and when you’re down. Their heart aches when yours does. They come alive when you do. A good friend always find a way to be there for whatever you need. You can go weeks, months, even years without seeing each other, but when you finally reunite, it’s like no time has passed at all.
Though we all experience big and small life changes– especially in young adulthood– good friends stick by our sides. Dolly Alderton speaks on this very topic in her memoirs Everything I Know About Love. Alderton recounts stories from her 20s in which her female friendships were the first relationships that taught her how to love. Romantic relationships come and go, jobs fluctuate, families are complicated, people move to new cities. One of the only constants throughout all of this change is our friendships.
Maybe I’ve been watching too much Sex and the City. Maybe I’m inspired by one of my best friend’s birthdays. But regardless, I’d like to take this opportunity to express my undying gratitude for all the friends in my life, near and far, across space and time. You are my family away from family, my home away from home, and I hold you in my heart wherever I go.
To the friends from my childhood:
Thank you for providing a safe space for me when I needed it. Thank you for being the ones I could slip into my imaginary world with, who I could be my unapologetic, weird self around. You’re the ones who taught me how to be silly, how to have fun, how to laugh until my belly hurts and tears are streaming down my cheeks. Thank you for letting me into your lives so that I could see that everybody’s families were different. Each of our living experiences growing up shaped who we are today, and I am honored to have shared that intimate space with you all.
To the friends who stuck around since then:
Thank you for seeing me through all the changes in my life. And by that I mean every single stage of my childhood, adolescence, and adulthood. Thank you for forgiveness when we fight. Thank you for accepting who I am, who I’ve been, and who I will be. Thank you for always showing up when we need each other, no matter how far apart we are or how long we’ve gone without talking. You are the special souls that remind me that love really can last a lifetime.
To the friends I met in young adulthood:
Thank you for stumbling through life with me as we navigate this ever-changing world. Thank you for being my date to almost every party. Thank you for introducing me to new music, food, cities, and people. You’ve taught me that the experiences of life are vast and evolving, and we are a reflection of it all. You’ve taught me that independence doesn’t have to mean loneliness, and companionship is one of life’s greatest treasures.
To the friends I don’t talk to anymore:
You are always missing from me. I know it’s both of our responsibility to reach out. Maybe we’re both nervous to say hello after all this time. What do we have in common anymore? Are you upset that I let so much time go by? Are you happy? I hope so. I hold you in my heart for you wherever I go. Whenever you come up in conversation, I boast about how amazing you are and how lucky I was to have you in my life for the time I did. I miss you, so maybe writing this will inspire me to reach out. Maybe you feel the same about me, and when I do reach out, it will be electric and exciting and we will talk like we haven’t talked in ages. Until we run out of things to talk about, and we realize we are different people who drifted apart into different lives and that is completely okay. It doesn’t invalidate our friendship or our love for each other. Thank you for teaching me love is infinite, and we often don’t need words to know our friendship is eternal.
To the friends who aren’t my friends anymore:
I miss you, but that doesn’t mean we should be friends again. I miss the times we shared, the laughs we passed back and forth, the memories we made. But all that would be gone even if we did reconnect. Thank you for showing me how not to love in many ways. Thank you for showing me it’s okay to outgrow people, and even though saying goodbye is hard, it’s necessary. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to stand up for myself, to set boundaries, and to know what I want by showing me what I don’t want. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to feel grief, for it is grief that cracked my heart open and exposed my most tender soul. I look back on our memories with fondness and gratitude, and I hope to never repeat the mistakes of the past.
To the friends I haven’t met yet:
Thank you for being so patient while I navigate the waters of life on my way to meet you. And I must say, I am so excited to meet you. I wonder who you’ll be, or who I’ll be when our paths cross. I wonder if we’ll like each other at first or be repelled. Or will we be simple acquaintances that gradually grow closer over time? Whatever the case, your existence makes me excited for the future. We will laugh together, I know. We will grow together, disagree at times, and taste the charcuterie board of life. This I know. But I am patient. There is no need to rush into the future. For who knows what will become of us all in a day, week, month, year. We never know, and that is why each moment we have together is so precious to me.
To all my friends throughout my life, near and far, across space and time:
I love you all more than words could say.
Love always,
Hannah
From the Work Your Light Oracle Cards
The Writer's Oracle 